Saturday, January 9, 2010

failure

the last two times that we've had sex i have failed
when you pressed my slender wrists down
back against your cool metal head board
and slide so meaningfully onto me
and in that moment i felt everything sexual and meaningful we were
and i was overcome
and i came too soon and was
limp
and then you were on the phone with your ex
and i was
limp

and now we find each other with candles around us
and wine and vodka and tequila
i hope you weren't bracing yourself for the inevitable
was it a protective thing?
did i push you into drinking more and more?
i know i kissed you first
and i know i looked at you with a sexual hunger first
why can't i see anything less? or is it more?
and then we're in your bed
you're asking me such sobering things
"what happens in the morning"
"what about him?"
and i honestly don't remember what i answer
but i make it sound good
and i give you head
and i dont make you come
and i finger you and rub your clit
and i dont make you come
and i slide inside of you
and i dont make you come
and you make me come
and i am limp
and i fall asleep in your bed
as you vomit uncontrollably in your mother's room
and i wake up alone
limp

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