Matrix piece [V1]

I earnestly desire to be affected spiritually
for God to whisper to me while I sleep
and fill my lungs with zealous fever

Or to find a sense of inner balance in the I Ching
and to know that every speck of dust, blade of grass, and human being
has its place

Or to fail to grasp the infinity that is Brahman
and be humbled by the immensity of the gods
as our brief life slips by

I want to find my inspiration like the old Romantics did
divinity in the petals of a white oleander
purpose in the sweeping surges of mountain rock
or reflection in the mighty roots of a redwood digging deep into earth


I want to be moved by something larger than my existence
to find beautiful truth in the ugliest of places
in a great and terrible war or on a sun drenched beach in Algeria

I need my own vision quest
my own Anne Frank
my own Mt. Eerie
my own Vietnam
my own carousel on a rainy day
my own plague
my own Walden Pond

but all I have is this life