dream journal

i'm at my grandparents house and they are both still alive. it's a special day of the year but i dont remember which one. we have a family tradition on this day that we strip down naked and then walk and run through the forest. it's winter time so i'm partially afraid of being cold but mostly embarrassed about my body. it's early in the morning when this is about to begin and as the moment draws near my grandpa is making sure everyone is ready to go. it seems to mean a lot to him.

the moment comes and i take off all my clothes and start to walk through the darkness and into the woods. it's actually very peaceful and i don't even mind the cold. it's too dark to make anything out but i think i'm walking around with an uncle of mine.

after a while i am no longer in the woods but in the cul de sac where i grew up. the streetlights are all blaring orange light onto the sidewalks and roads and i am embarrassed about my body again. i can't find anyone else from my family. i'm starting to notice the cold more and more. i'm worried now that i am not clean so i pick up some snow and start rubbing it over my body. over my chest, arms, and ass.

my body is shivering now and i need a warm shower. there is a large shower head mounted on a streetlight in front of me and i turn it on. steaming water pours out immediately and i gain control back of my body.

my dream changes now and some of my friends show up who were taking part in the ceremony. i don't recognize any of them. they've gotten caught up in a role play where they are in a war and they start to hunt me. because we're friends they give me a minute head start and i run off the roads and into snowbanks and across fields looking for somewhere to hide. i find a hole with someone else in it, he begs me not to hide there but i have no choice. we're found almost immediately. i'm not sure what they do with the other person but they take me prisoner.

the next parts are a blur of traveling via a retro spaceship that seems to be an olds kid's ride that moves on rails, going to other worlds, and watching them hunt other people and things. at some point they all end up dying except for one. i don't remember how it ends.

my dream changes again and i'm back at my grandparents house. i'm younger again and i'm resting my head on my brothers chest. it's so comfortable and feels right. i kiss him on the neck.

then i wake up