tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4411001736609393822.post8582553124019931621..comments2023-11-05T04:44:11.806-08:00Comments on an alright beginning: The Fog [300 word story final]Cooperhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11798205868864337188noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4411001736609393822.post-17672231882913713972007-10-22T10:42:00.000-07:002007-10-22T10:42:00.000-07:00oh, and you need to go comment my new version caus...oh, and you need to go comment my new version cause you give nifty comments.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4411001736609393822.post-58822430753953278192007-10-22T10:28:00.000-07:002007-10-22T10:28:00.000-07:00Th description was wonderful. i loved how you wrot...Th description was wonderful. i loved how you wrote this. it is so strong. and peacefull was repeted across the whole thing which was good. <BR/><BR/>very good job!Rebeccahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16062424071449885908noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4411001736609393822.post-41432237884936120022007-10-22T10:23:00.000-07:002007-10-22T10:23:00.000-07:00you have amazing metaphors. i didn't even realize ...you have amazing metaphors. i didn't even realize my mouth was open until i pushed the comment button, haha. sorry my comment isn't very long but your story is still processing...partially because it's amazing, partially because i'm sleepy.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4411001736609393822.post-43768180301859023802007-10-22T10:16:00.000-07:002007-10-22T10:16:00.000-07:00great description. it really reaches out emotional...great description. it really reaches out emotionally. I like "replaced by a pleasant distant echo." it really points out what a memory feels like. <BR/><BR/>good job!AnnieDhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16928884497184693536noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4411001736609393822.post-8488648119636145242007-10-22T09:40:00.000-07:002007-10-22T09:40:00.000-07:00sometimes i think u try to hard. but its all goodsometimes i think u try to hard. but its all goodMelody_Andersonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13202686285374912953noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4411001736609393822.post-10975695847419857392007-10-22T09:33:00.000-07:002007-10-22T09:33:00.000-07:00Your imagery is fabulous... it connects him to the...Your imagery is fabulous... it connects him to the peaceful things on earth. The ending is sudden and unexpected... but that's a good thing :)I love how the reader knows what you are talking about, but you never really come out and bluntly say it. Nice job.Chereehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16773020614258598097noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4411001736609393822.post-44623777750935821852007-10-22T09:32:00.000-07:002007-10-22T09:32:00.000-07:00First of all, I really like the repetition of the ...First of all, I really like the repetition of the word "peaceful" throughout the whole story. To me, it seemed like that word brought the reader back to what's happening. Kind of like all of the descriptions pinpoint a different kind of peace. I liked it.<BR/><BR/>I also still really like the "raindrops in a cave" part. And I'm still drawn to the "heightened sense of awareness."<BR/><BR/>And though this guy still doesn't have a name, I don't think it's a significant detail of the story so...yeah.<BR/><BR/>I really like how the end makes you see that he is indeed a memory and the last "peaceful" ties all the other ones up. Well, that's how I saw it at least.<BR/><BR/>Great job.Alishahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16001584432173091258noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4411001736609393822.post-32725658388239610162007-10-22T09:23:00.000-07:002007-10-22T09:23:00.000-07:00All the description is still really good, and conf...All the description is still really good, and confirming that he is a memory clarifies the ending.Joshhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00817999697377208006noreply@blogger.com