tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4411001736609393822.post4153524714635953085..comments2023-11-05T04:44:11.806-08:00Comments on an alright beginning: Her Memory [55 word essay]Cooperhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11798205868864337188noreply@blogger.comBlogger11125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4411001736609393822.post-33699319054571446842007-10-08T10:51:00.000-07:002007-10-08T10:51:00.000-07:00This is really good cooper I can read it over and ...This is really good cooper I can read it over and over. You can also use stronger imageagustinahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09485988681379952811noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4411001736609393822.post-88269353394731569532007-10-08T10:38:00.000-07:002007-10-08T10:38:00.000-07:00This is very creative. You pretty much covered eve...This is very creative. You pretty much covered everything. There was detail and the conflict revealed at the end was a good twist.mimihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17920290784832732076noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4411001736609393822.post-49589143920220656182007-10-08T10:25:00.000-07:002007-10-08T10:25:00.000-07:00Wow, your verb and noun use has blown me away, you...Wow, your verb and noun use has blown me away, your writing style is amazing, and this story is no different. the "he was only her memory" was a such a great line. good job.robynhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05073047386590775653noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4411001736609393822.post-52568748916921453842007-10-08T10:19:00.000-07:002007-10-08T10:19:00.000-07:00interesting...very interesting. It did take a coup...interesting...very interesting. It did take a couple reads to fully comprehend and appreciate the word choice and verbs. I like the metaphor , "skin turned into dust and his organs were cobwebs" very nice job!sarahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14463932725015949049noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4411001736609393822.post-2398330453218957252007-10-08T10:15:00.001-07:002007-10-08T10:15:00.001-07:00its cool...but so far i don't really understand an...its cool...but so far i don't really understand any of your work...i don't think alot of ppl do..but that can work to your advantageMelody_Andersonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13202686285374912953noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4411001736609393822.post-54961219942077759552007-10-08T10:15:00.000-07:002007-10-08T10:15:00.000-07:00so my guess she she died. good short story. i like...so my guess she she died. good short story. i like that it is in two parargraghs.Leannahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00289264869753145768noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4411001736609393822.post-89808494507021207192007-10-08T09:40:00.000-07:002007-10-08T09:40:00.000-07:00This is so cool! Your imagery is amazing. I though...This is so cool! Your imagery is amazing. I thought your verbs and nouns were fine but I think this story is so intense that they could even be stronger.AnnieDhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16928884497184693536noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4411001736609393822.post-80383783737647145842007-10-08T09:37:00.000-07:002007-10-08T09:37:00.000-07:00Good use of verbs. It really helped me visualize t...Good use of verbs. It really helped me visualize this invisible person.Samhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07335129145884363161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4411001736609393822.post-16931095947121559302007-10-08T09:35:00.000-07:002007-10-08T09:35:00.000-07:00Wow, this is awesome. I've just read this about th...Wow, this is awesome. I've just read this about three or four times...In the first two sentences you have words that appeal to four different senses. (Invisible, heard, smelled touch.) That's just incredible. Oh, and since most of those are verbs, extra props because that's the main focus for today.<BR/><BR/>I think in total, I've read this about 7 times now. It's not like it's confusing or anything though, so don't worry, it's a good thing.<BR/><BR/>Great job.Alishahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16001584432173091258noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4411001736609393822.post-59863654754082573322007-10-08T09:30:00.000-07:002007-10-08T09:30:00.000-07:00God verb and noun usage. This is a really interest...God verb and noun usage. This is a really interesting story, it makes me wonder if he is a ghost or just something in her head that she thinks about.Joshhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00817999697377208006noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4411001736609393822.post-40422870324677018382007-10-08T09:16:00.000-07:002007-10-08T09:16:00.000-07:00That was different.verb usage was ok. nouns too. m...That was different.<BR/>verb usage was ok. nouns too. maybe you could use a few stronger words. <BR/>i like the imagry. it does make sense overall after you read it. god job.Rebeccahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16062424071449885908noreply@blogger.com